Escape Reality Challenge

Between weather and training, I haven't exactly been getting the wilderness experience I've been striving to achieve during the TentMan Experience.
This could also be blamed on my hectic work schedule.

Pitched at Penny's last night, again. She's been very hospitable these last few days!

I simply don't have time to get out there...yet. My work schedule should be easing up next week.

It's like I'm a caged beast right now.
The more I work, and the more obligations that stack up, the more it makes me want to up the level of craziness when I'm finally free of it all.

These crazy ideas get into my head. Epic thoughts with no limits that take me away from the real world for an extremely long time.

This would be...in my opinion, the best event in the world:

I'll start at the Northern Terminus of the Appalachian Trail, Mt. Katahdin, and run all the way to Atlantic City via appalachian trail, at which point, I get into a drinking contest with the whole cast of Jersey Shore and handily win after 25 shots of vodka in an hour.
Sleep for a few hours, then mount my bike and do the whole Race Across America course backwards, and end up in California.

My bike, which will be absolutely near-junk after biking through 3 different F4 tornadoes in the midwest, and a scary descent on a washed-out road on the continental divide, will be tossed in the garbage and traded for a wetsuit, with which I'll use to swim north up the coast of the Pacific Ocean...all the way into Puget Sound.

Ditching the suit, because of its holes from a battle with a young killer whale, I'll bushwack up to Mt. Rainier, and fashion a hanglider from the frame of my backpack and some tarps.
It'll be a scenic ride as I catch thermals all the way up to the summit of Mt. Mckinley, and a dangerous trek down to the Aleutian Islands via snowshoe and skis. To stay warm, I'll have to wrestle a polarbear and steal it's fur.

This wins much respect from the Inuit, and they give me a homemade canoe, so that I may paddle over to Russia.

The Russians don't appreciate my unannounced landing, so I do 1 year in a gulag, where I complete 5,000 pushups and sit-ups every day. I get extra cycling in because they need someone to pedal the bike hooked up to their electrical turbine for 10 hours a day so that they may have electricity.

Getting my last name mixed with my birthplace, the Russians deport me to Poland, where I am forced to steal a Razor scooter and a backpack from a little kid. I push that thing through Romania and into Greece, stopping at Sparta to pay homage to Leonidas for being The Man, then hurl myself into the Mediteranean and swim to Egypt.

I backpack across the African plains, and hook up with a tribe of persistence hunters. All of their best runners have come up lame, and now they need someone to help run down the largest Kudu in the area. After 60 miles of running at sub-7 minute pace in the 110 degree heat, I hop on the kudus back and break off an antler...using it to stab the animal in the heart. After a massive feast and celebration, I must go. They accompany me to the Altantic coast where I will row to South America.

Pirates try to rob me as I leave the shore, but they are no match for my twin Kudu horn-swords...a prize the tribal group gave me for such a brave kill.
Knowing I'm on the home-stretch, the Atlantic row seems easy, and I guide my boat directly into the end of the Amazon. I ditch my boat and I'm forced to swim against the current, all the way to the source. Pirahnas take nibbles and one toe, but no major school attacks.

I orienteer myself from the source of the Amazon all the way to the Yucatan Peninsula, where I don some scuba gear and swim, underwater, into the Gulf Of Mexico.

Oil plumes cloud my navigation, so I swim, against their current, all the way to the gushing hole of BP.
By wearing some rubber gloves, tying 23 electric eels together, and using some iron ore from the sea floor, I'm able to weld the hole shut easily in less than an hour.

As I come to the surface, I'm greeted by a fishing boat. Because I've saved their industry, they are more than willing to give me a ride to Key West, where I find Jimmy Buffett. He declares my event over, I eat a Cheeseburger In Paradise, and then spend the rest of the year sitting on the beach drinking Margaritas.

*blink* oh, time to go to work.
Maybe next year....

Colgate Fresh

Well.

I looked at it long enough.

I decided to take out my new bike on its maiden voyage last night.
It is fast.

The bad side to the whole thing, is that because of this, I left my tent set up at Penny's for the second day in a row...which...you guessed it.
My arch-rival, the Aroostook Earwig, had again infiltrated my fortress.

Spent the next hour exterminating and removing...then shut my light off.

An hour later, I turned my light on, and found 6 more.
Where the hell were they getting in?

Upon closer inspection, I realized that there's a small gap where the two zippers meet, and my tent is a 2 door. 2 holes for those little beasts to come in.
I took toothpaste and plugged the holes, and that seemed to do the trick!

The toothpaste would make a later appearance though, in an unexpected place.
Someone behind me in the DD line this morning told me that I had something on the back of my head.
It wasn't just something, it was a big ass gob of toothpaste.
How did it get there? I'll never know...but at least I'm Colgate Fresh!

Ah, the joys of tenting.

Pitchin at Pee Pee's

Not gonna lie, too much sun and too much booze on the 4th left me feeling less than energetic. Did a two hour bike ride on the ATV trails, hoping that would snap me out of my stupor, but no.
No motivation to go anywhere major.

With thunderstorms threatening, I opted to pitch a tent at Penny's.
We sat on the back porch, eating strawberry shortcake and conversing about life in general.

When dark fell, I crawled into my tent and hoped for a T-Storm to break the crazy humidity. No luck.

The good news: on my bike ride yesterday I found a river island. Hopefully going to hit that up tonight.

Ode To Turner, bub

Spent the last few nights in Turner, visiting family, and pounding down too much Yuengling.
For those not privy to the wonderful brew, get thee to New York or PA and try some. It's not sold in New England. My parents were able to find some, though.
To quote Beerfest,"It's so good, I want to freeze it, then ice skate on it, and then thaw it and drink it in the springtime!"

You know, it's funny. I've been tenting now for a week or so, and hadn't seen any wildlife, except for a lot of bugs....until I went to Turner.
Woke up this morning around 3:30, walked into the house to get a drink, looked down at my tent, and my headlight shone on a coyote right in front of my tent. Crazy. It had been less than a minute ago that I exited my tent. I wonder- if I had turned around on the short walk up to the house..would it have been right behind me??

I always joke about my hometown, because for such a small town, it seems to find it's way into the news an awful lot.
There's murder. There are mythical beasts. There's motorcycle gang violence.
There's even a Turner Triangle.

I figured I would share a few links to get you up to speed on my old stomping grounds...

For evil beasts: click here. and here

For motorcycle gangs: click here

For Sasquatch and the Turner Triangle(highly recommended lol): click here

For murder: click here

Turner is great, with it's rolling hills, awesome roads(except for 219 into Leeds), infinite lakes, and endless snowmobile trails. It really is a training mecca...and growing up there is how I turned out to the way I did. Always a great visit.

Good Times. Thanks for reading.
krp

Squapan Mtn Area.

Don't laugh. This is my first video blog.

I had hoped to get to either Squapan Mtn or the east side of the lake via snowmobile trails....but I flat out ran out of daylight. I still found a really great spot with pretty level ground, next to a nice bridge and stream. Unfortunately the camera didn't do it all justice.

Anyways. Enjoy your weekend. I think I'm doing a major ride today into tonight and ending up downstate.
P.S.- there were no drunk rednecks or earwigs....

Dunananananananaananananana
TENTMAN

Learnin' and Wiggin' Out

Location: Friend's backyard

Weather: Breezy, overcast

Temperature: 45-55 degrees

Hours of sleep: 7

Well, I'm learning a thing or two about preparation while homeless.

Number 1: Don't stay in the same place for a duration of time longer than a night. Why? It becomes not only a "temporary" home for you, but for other creatures. See Number 2.

Number 2: Don't leave your tent in the same spot for a long period of time with the zipper partly open. I had to go on a pest removal-fest last night before bed. Earwigs had gotten all through my tent. I took out 15, at least. I can handle flies. I can deal with mosquitoes. I cannot deal with these little ant/scorpion mongoloids. Gross.
I woke up a couple times in the night and turned my headlight on to be sure there were none that had found their way back in my tent, or worse, my sleeping bag.

Also, the rain for the last 3 or 4 days has killed my efforts to get out and see the wilderness. I am unwilling to pack up all of my stuff soaking wet, let it sit in Mojo for the day(still wet), then set it up and be wet for the next night.

It's been in the 40s and I'm not interested in hypothermia. The good news is that there is great weather now, and for tonight. Time to get Into The Wild .

Speaking of wild, check out this video. I posted it on Facebook yesterday, but I have some followers who aren't on FB. We had a gopher just walk into the shop! Check out our follies as we attempt to rid the store of the varmint!

Happy Trails, krp

Good Times

Location: Friend's backyard

Weather: Breezy, overcast

Temperature: 45-55 degrees

Hours of sleep: 8.5

Good Times last night. Literally.

Did the Mojo Good Times ride with Mark, Brent, Kyle, and Carey.
Enjoyed some roads I've never seen before around Mapleton. Awesome.

After, we went to the pub. I got carded, and didn't have my license. So I:
Run to mojo. Find my license. Run back to pub.
Everyone gets Smithwicks but me. They all kick the keg while I'm gone, now there's no more.
I settle for Bud Light.
Waitress brings over nachos and proceeds to dump salsa on me. Cool.

So, another night in Presque Isle. I'm going to wait on an epiphany to see where I stay tonight. Somewhere cool. Stay tuned.

Happy July