Clear the Debts, Break the Chains

Last month I turned 30.
Nicole bought me a book that chronicled a middle-aged man's thru hike of the Appalachian Trail, after his wife had died of cancer.

The book is an OK read. Not an amazing read, but good enough to reignite my need to get on the trail and get lost for 3 or 4 months.

While I love reading of others' adventures, the stories are terrible for my mental health. I am again faced with the frustration of the material, bill-paying, working, "real world" holding me back.

I have seen what is it like to do nothing but hike everyday.
I have eaten poptart peanut butter sandwiches, and had coffee that was more grounds than liquid.
I have gone 12 days without bathing.
I have hit the sack at 7pm with the sunset, and woken at 5 with the sunrise.
And I miss it. So much that at times I can't bear the idea of assimilation into the "real world".

What is it about the trail that people obsess about?
Maybe it's the scenery or the people one meets. Perhaps its the daily use of gear, or the idea of doing something others deem as hardcore.
For me, being in the woods, with only one purpose is the true and simplest definition of being alive.
It's eating, drinking, moving, sleeping.
Everything else that we do- all of the problems we have- are because of the choices we made for ourselves. Most of them come down to money. You must work to buy the things in your life. But what do you REALLY NEED for things?

"Man is the only kind of varmint that sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it," John Steinbeck said.

Fuck "things". I still have no car. Still ride my bike that I bought for $75 everywhere. There was a time I owned a vehicle. During that time, I was constantly treading water, trying to get ahead... only to be held down by tires, brakes, insurance, repairs, and by going places, and doing things I didn't need to be doing. The road to financial and life freedom was blocked by an insurmountable wall of my own creation.

Now, that wall is a small concrete barrier, and I am the tractor trailer truck in the distance, revving up to shatter that shit.
I am perhaps a little over a year away from being debt free. To have debt is to be a slave to the world, and being a slave is a burden that has grown tiresome for me, just 12 years into adulthood.

It's time to clear the debts, and break the chains. The trail looms.

kp

Living Indoors vs Living Hard: Exploring Optimal Challenge in Life

It's hard to believe, but during the last 14 months I've spent all of my nights indoors.

There hasn't been a stretch this long since 2009. A lot has changed. I can't say it's better or worse, just different.

Seems like just yesterday when I nervously put all of my worldly belongings in the basement of Mojo, and decided I'd be sleeping wherever I felt like laying my head.
Drifting. Homeless by choice.

I miss waking up with the sun, and taking a piss wherever and whenever I want.
Having one dish.
Only worrying about what to wear because of the weather.
Cycling to where I'm going to sleep.
Hiking to where I'm going to sleep.
Having a bad night of sleep because of weather or animals outside your tent.
Having an awesome sleep the next night.
The word "amazing" gets entirely too much use nowadays, but riding the highs and lows of outdoor living carries the most amazing package of feelings in the world. It is simple and extreme.

I've become more civilized since coming out of the woods late last September. Even out of the woods though, I was living hard up until April or so of this year, commuting 60 miles a day, 4-5 times a week on my bike through the winter, and working 3 and 4 jobs at a time...one of them overnight. It was a struggle that I grew to love. Every day was a new adventure. What do I wear? How bad are the roads? My feet are frozen...guess I better run with my bike until they thaw.

While I was in hell then, waking up from 1 hour sleeps and having to sprint on my bike for an hour and half to get to work, I look fondly back on those days. I think we all have times of struggle that we can remember, but appreciate them for making us tougher people. We do things sometimes because we have to pay the bills.

*****

Now that I work 3 minutes away from where I live, something's missing.
I've read about optimal challenge before. In order to stay focused, happy, and motivated, one needs to have a goal just out of reach, but ultimately reachable if enough work and effort is put in. A carrot on a string? I can't help but wonder if this feeling is the "depression" that so many people in our country deal with.

Let's face it, as a whole we aren't worried about our next meal. We are skating through life. Surviving isn't even on our radar. We are head and shoulders over "just surviving" because gas is $3.50 a gallon and cigarettes are $7.00 a pack, and we still buy it. We are still paying $3 at Starbucks for coffee. We are force fed by the media that our economy is bad, but in reality it won't be "bad" until a majority of us are going by foot or bike, and that 20 minute drive to the city to get groceries is not an option. And then is that even bad? You'd spend your money at the local stores.

Would it be terrible if we couldn't afford cable or DISH?
Would the world end if you couldn't pay that extra $30-$50 for your data package?
What would you do with all the extra time you'd have if you couldn't get internet at home?

Maybe the USA could use some more Optimal Challenge. Maybe the economy should get "bad", so we can fight more for what we have. It wouldn't hurt anyone in this country to live a little harder and be a little more minimal...it may just make us happier.


kp